Thursday, August 15, 2013

Memoir 10, Dealing With Loneliness


July 24, 2013
0105
            Single women who possess no romantic interest in me whatsoever will ask me, “Why are you single?” as if I’m this amazing guy who should have a girlfriend.  I answer them with complete honesty, “I really do not know.”  Maybe I’m not attractive enough, maybe I’m not talkative enough; it could be any number of reasons.  Every relationship I’ve had has met with colossal failure, and any attempt I’ve made at having a relationship or even going on a date since my last relationship two years ago has also met with colossal failure.  For many years I have had this endless hope that I would find a phenomenal woman of God that I’d be blessed to spend the rest of my life with.  And I had right reasons to believe so.  I used to believe that I’m reasonably attractive, and I am still aware of my sharp intelligence and the admirable qualities of my life ambitions as well as my great faith in Christ.  However, that hope has now vanished.  I’ve had many conversations with people about God having a plan for the right woman for me.  They’d list many reasons why I’m compatible for the right woman:  that I’m an attractive, intelligent young man of God with great ambitions.  I used to believe that those qualities were enough for a woman to be even remotely attracted to me, but nowadays, not so much.  In everything my faith in God is unshakable, but I admit that I’ve lost my faith in Him blessing me with a woman of His name.  He has revealed many amazing things to me in His proper timing due to my patience, but I am struggling with this one thing.  He knows I suffer with loneliness, and yet I remain alone.
            It is true that with Christ we are never alone.  However, God designed us to desire and to have tangible relationships not just with people but also with somebody of the opposite sex in an intimate and even marital relationship.  Jesus Christ completes us, but there are other things in life that complete us as well.  A good career, stable finances, and the love of your life are among those things

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